Better That We Break
by Leijona
Summary: I hate you." I say, trying not to smile. "I know you do," you reply. A story about how some things aren't what they seem to be. Oneshot, set in the nearby future. No names in this story, so it's up to your imagination... Complete.


_**AN:** By now, you probably all now how much I love Peyton and Nathan together, so I wrote this fic with them in mind. However, I think that you can place whatever couple you want in this story. I hope you'll enjoy it! Please let me know what you think!_

_**Disclaimer:** I. Do. Not. Own. One. Tree. Hill. I think we all know that by now._

_**15.04.08: **Ok, so when I read this again, I wasn't too content with how it turned out after all. So I made some minor adjustments.. _

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I hear the door open and feel cold air streaming in. Without looking I know who's entering and it isn't for long I feel your presence. I don't look up, but know you're standing behind me. All of a sudden you pull up my shirt and I let out a small shriek "I hate you." I say, trying not to smile.

"I know you do," you reply, while you pull your hands from under my shirt "But at least my hands are warm now." Your eyes twinkle, your mouth is forming a smile and you've got that look on your face, that look I fell for so many years ago. The look that makes you get away with everything.

I shiver as I try to shake off your cold touch, but I can still feel your cold hands on my skin. The goose bumps are still there. I watch you as you take of your coat and put it on the chair opposite to mine. You look at me with a questioning look and I nod. By now we don't need words to understand each other. A simple look is enough. You fill the kettle with water and put it on the stove. Somehow I can't take my eyes off of you. I watch your back, the one that gives me piggyback rides when we feel like acting as kids. I see your strong, muscular arms forming in your sweater. I love how those arms always comfort me, how they make me feel safe.

You turn around, fold your arms in front of you and look at me. I see you raising an eyebrow and you're probably wondering why I'm staring at you. I smile and continue to look at you. You shrug and pick up a newspaper that's lying on the countertop. I love how I can make you feel self-conscious by just looking at you, even though you will never, ever admit it.

I can tell that you're not actually reading the newspaper, you're just pretending. It makes me giggle a little. Your eyes move from the paper to me and you smile as well "Just say it, babe," you put the newspaper down and put your hands in your pockets.

I raise my eyebrows and play along "What, hon?"

You lick your lips "Just say that you think I'm hot."

I roll my eyes "What makes you think that I think you're hot?"

You walk over to me and bend down so your mouth is next to my ear "You were so checking me out."

Immediately those goose bumps are back again. I turn my head so I face you and try not give in "You think?" but I hear my voice. It's thick and low and I can see you're not buying it.

You nod and stand up again. Damn it, just when I was about to give up and kiss you. I swallow hard, take a deep breath and try to control myself again. My mind is still focusing when you put a cup of tea in front of me "Here you go."

I look up "Thanks." I smile. Why don't we just get this over with. I want you. You know it and I know it, but yet we sit here drinking tea. "We have to stop doing this." My voice is still raw, but I don't care. You take a sip before you put your cup down and put your hands around it.

Slowly you nod your head "Probably, yeah."

I've had enough of this. It feels like my heart takes over my mind in the time of one second and I get up. I don't care what happens next. I want you. And I know you want me too.

You look at me with a frown on your face.

I walk over to the back door and lock it. After I've done the same with the front door I walk back to you again.

By now you've pretty much figured out what is about to happen next. You smile as I take your hand to pull you up on your feet. Your hands cup my face, they are warm now, but still your touch sends a shiver down my spine. Your head moves closer and I open my mouth.

We kiss. It's a long, passionate kiss and it feels like there's no one left on this entire world but us. If we were in a movie there'd be fireworks in the background and soon 'The End' would appear on screen.

But this is not a movie.

So I bump into my chair, when we try to make our way to the bedroom. It took just one short look to know we would go there. We're still kissing, but stop when we reach the stairs. The butterflies in my stomach are suddenly present as well and make me smile. Instead of giving me a piggyback ride, you lift me up and carry me up the stairs. I put my arms around your neck and pretend we just got married. I get ready for you to put me down when we reach the top, but you carry me all the way into the bedroom. You gently lay me down on the bed and I grab your sweater to take you down with me. We kiss and soon your hands are pulling up my shirt.

We break contact just long enough for me to take off my shirt and for you to take of your sweater and t-shirt. My fingers trace the lines on your chest, over to your six-pack and down to the fabric of your jeans. Without looking I find the button and undo it. Your mouth finds mine again and your tongue soon enters. I hear you groan when I put my hands in your jeans and trace the line of your boxers. We change positions and this time I'm on top. Your hands have found my bra and you take it off in one motion. I sit up and look at you. You cup my face and try to kiss me again but at the last second I take my head down to your chest and start planting kisses there. While I'm doing that you take of your jeans and roll me over on my back.

This time it's me who groans, when you start kissing my breasts and make your way down to my jeans. You undo the button and I push myself up with my legs so you can take it off. Of course you make sure you take of my panties as well. I've never felt self-conscious in front of you before, but the way you look at me now makes me nervous. Like we're sixteen again and this our first time.

I hear your low voice "You look beautiful." And I can feel my cheeks are getting red. You notice it as well and grin "I still have that power over you, huh?" I nod and you kiss me again. I pull you closer to intensify our kiss. When I've got you where I want, I move my hands to your boxers and pull them down. I want you. All of you.

With one hand I reach for the nightstand and pull out the drawer. Without looking my hand roams through it and after what seems forever I find what I'm looking for. Condoms. I take out the package and use my other hand to open the paper. I find your hand and put the condom in it, and you take care of the rest.

I feel your naked skin on mine and soon I feel you inside of me as well. It doesn't take long before our bodies are in the same rhythm. I grab onto your back and wrap my legs around you. I moan when you softly bite on my lip. "I…" I can't even finish that sentence as we both are reaching our top. I let out a small shriek as I come and hear you groan.

We continue to kiss as you roll off of me and lay down next to me. I put one of my legs between yours and slide my foot up and down your calf. We stop kissing as you roll on your back and I put my head on your chest. I love your smell, always have. You kiss the top of my head and for a moment we just lay there.

I don't know when we fell asleep, but the sound of a phone ringing wakes me up. I lift my head and kiss your cheek. "I think it's yours."

You sigh and open your eyes. You try to smile at me, but we both know who it is. You get out of bed, put your boxers on and walk over to your jeans. I see your face when you look at your phone. Your eyes darken as you answer it "Hey honey."

I close my eyes. It hurts, hearing you say that to someone else. But I know I don't have the right to claim those words. I hear you sigh and if I know you well enough, you're rubbing your forehead right now.

"No, nothing happened, I'll be home in fifteen minutes."

I turn over and face the wall. I don't want to deal with this right now. I try real hard not to hear the next words, because they break my heart.

"Yeah, I love you too."

I know what we're doing is wrong, you know it as well. But it feels so good.

Everyone thinks we're just friends. Good friends ever since we broke up in junior year. In a way they're right, we are friends. Just the one with benefits.

You put on the rest of your clothes and look at me. A sad smile forms around your lips. "I'm sorry," you whisper.

I shake my head "Don't be." I sit up, but cover myself with my sheets. I get a hold of your sweater and pull you close for one last kiss. I know it won't be the last time we do this.

"I'll see you," you say before you walk out the door.

I sigh and lay down again. It's true what people say – you never forget your first love.

**- FIN -**


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